Here’s the dish…

We have a ‘no-screens-in-bedrooms-overnight’ rule.

Except for me, ’cause I’m allowed to do whatever I want, ’cause I’m the mum, so shut up.

I poked my head into the pony-tail wearer’s bedroom to do the “check-she’s-still-alive-before-I-go-to-bed” thing. I’ve done this forever…I can’t sleep if I haven’t done my nightly offspring checks. Anyway, there she was, my darling girl who should be sleeping, but instead, was sneakily (but obvious to the trained mother eye) watching something on her iPod.

“Hope you’re not on a screen? Where’s your iPod?” I ask.

“Oh, I dunno… “ she replied, “down there somewhere”, indicating that it was in the living area.

Look, all kids fib. They lie by omission, they sugar coat, deny, delete and sneak. The stupid ones even lie to your face. I get it. It’s a road I’ve travelled with this one a few times.

I stood in the doorway and mulled over my options. I had a couple of choices. I could have, once again, the same discussion about telling fibs. I could, once again, explain that if I’m asking a question, most of the time I already know the answer, so it’s a good idea to answer honestly. I could then confiscate the iPod, like I have done many times in the past, give an epic lengthy lecture about fibbing, breaking trust, blah blah blah OR I could up my parenting game.

Screw it, I thought. Clearly talking doesn’t work with this one. This one needs a practical demonstration. Plus, I don’t like being played by an 11-year-old.

GAME ON.

So when Miss “I can pull one over my mum” fell asleep, I went back into her room, slipped my hand under her pillow and voila!…. What do you know? There was her iPod.

“Operation Secret iPod Confiscation” had now been activated.

The next morning, I noticed that Miss IPod (yes she has many names in this story) had made her bed and her room was unusually tidy. Mmm. Looking for something maybe?

I’m probably breaking some cardinal parenting rule and Mr. Hooch thinks I am slightly twisted and sadistic. But bugger it, I’m equally amused and intrigued as to how this will pan out.

So far, we are heading into day THREE of the iPod hostage situation, and she still hasn’t mentioned a SINGLE WORD.

I’m not sure what my next move will be. I didn’t think that far ahead when I launched “Operation Secret iPod Confiscation”. I’m dedicated to the cause though, so I’m not about to let the team down. “The Team” is me and Mr. Hooch of course.

Team Hooch vs Liar Liar pants on fire.

We will be victorious, goddammit. A lesson will be learned. The lesson may end up with Miss iPod improving her sneaky Netflix watching skills…but whatever…I’m gonna take that as a win.

M